Waking the Dead

It was going to be a dead weekend, boring, humdrum, all that good lazy stuff. But it actually turned out to be a pretty cool two days and I have to thank Floating Head for that. See, FH is the boss of me when it comes to yoga and kicking my ass into gear. After missing two weeks of classes in a row, she was very disappointed and told me that Swami Satchidananda was crying, so sad was he because of me not keeping my promise to go at least once a week. I have been doing better about practicing at home, I did it three times last week but I still had to answer to The Boss. So she told me if I went to class on both Saturday and Sunday in order to earn her respect back and if I did, she would give me a prize (some purpley office supply!) I had to prove myself. And guess what? It wasn’t hard at all, in fact, it was downright enjoyable! So after this, I’m on my own, motivation-wise, but I feel like I have the routine down now and I know what time I have to get up, leave, etc to be able to buy my banana, sit on the bench outside and smile and peacefully go up to class. After Saturday’s class, we met PossiblyJ for brunch – all you can drink margaritas is a mistake at noon! And then we saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which I really really really liked. I think it’s supercool by the way that she went this way with the plot – so far, this is my favorite book, because it’s actually very radical and subversive – you have to think of little kids reading this book and learning – ok, what you read in the papers might be propaganda. What your elders, those in power, etc are telling you might not be what it seems and for kids to learn this now - and that its imperative to fight this – is pretty important. Most importantly, it’s a good story, so now I’m off to start The Half-Blood Prince and see what comes up next...also, I have to read this as well as The Deathly Hollows before the Arizona trip, because by then, my two fellow adventure-seekers will have read the final book and will want to discuss over cocktails by the pool and so I must catch up.

Now, if you thought I was going to do some sort of metaphorical play on the title of this post with me being “dead” spiritually and physically, until Floating Head came to “wake” me and see the light at the end of the Yoga Tunnel, you would be sorely mistaken. After Sunday’s class, the two of us bought sandwiches and juice at the Integral grocery store and walked to the park on the corner. Until we both froze. I said to FH, “is that man in the fountain completely naked?” to which she replied “EWWWWW!”. He was! Just naked as a baby, splish-splashing away in the fountain woo hoo!! Okay, so lets go to Union Square to sit and peoplewatch and enjoy our lunch in the summer sun. There won’t be any weirdos or naked people there. So we sit and we see a Fairy Godmother sashaying around. Yes, a real fairy godmother, complete with white dreads sticking straight up like Sideshow Bob, swathed in a white tank top and a swishy white mattress pad fashioned into a long skirt and a clear plastic tarp that could be used as a train to his mattress pad dress or a veil if you wanted to see him as The Bride from Outer Space. I preferred to see him as a Fairy Godmother. To our left was a crack addict who kept pulling his shirt all the way up so he could pick at his skin and rub his belly. And then our gaze directed us to the grass and tree in front of us, under which lay a young man face down in the dirt. Could he be just passed out, but boy, is he gray and he isn’t moving at all. Like you don’t see his back moving up and down like he’s breathing, do you? Shall we tell someone? Shall we throw a rock at him to see if he moves? A bird came and landed on his legs and he still didn’t move. Alright, he’s dead, oh my god, there is a dead body just laying there and everyone is going to think he’s just napping and he’s going to lie there and rot and then the rats will come out as night falls and eat him up. EW. Two cops stroll by and I went up to the railing and waved at them and yelled “can you check on him, I don’t think he’s alright”. So the one cop jumps up onto the grass and FH, me, and the guy next to me on the bench hold our breath and watch expectantly. He prods him with his baton and nothing, no movement. Then the man pops up and the three of us jump up – he’s alive! And he is IRATE! “Jesus, I’m trying to sleep…man, now I have to go to the other yard to get some peace and quiet” and angrily strides away. He was actually wearing a nice shirt and pants and had some cool dude shades but our guess was – the guy never made it home from the night before, which was still almost as gross as being a dead body. He was either too drunk or too high and said “this is it, this is as far as I’m going” and he plopped down to pass out. And if you read a previous post from me – The Mermaid Festival – you will know how FILLED to the BRIM that park is with giant rats after dark.

So the dead was really alive and all was right with the world.

After this, we decided to fold and head home for the day – too many creepy people out and about. It’s best to hightail it home and stay safe. As I told Floating Head, I’m the only crazy there, and at least I know what I’m dealing with. We hop on the R train and who do we get stuck in a car with? Some oddball who comes in, wraps a sweater around his head like a hood, spits on the ground, muttering to himself, lights a cigarette, and creeps all the ladies out by staring at them strangely and making..um..repetitive motions you could say…and then the train stops. And doesn’t move. All we want to do is get to the next stop so that we can switch to another car. Eventually it does and we switch, but its funny because there’s an MTA guy in the car with us and he doesn’t do a thing – he has a radio, he could have called for the police that are stationed at Queens Plaza…but nothing, he was more concerned with jotting his deep thoughts down in his DayRunner. This is why we don’t support them when they want their stupid raises and then strike. Because they suck and are lazy. PERIOD.

But the dead are alive and all is right with the world – hurray!!!!