Kombucha = Buzzy Hearted

When I ventured out for my lunchmeal (avocado sundried tomato sandwich & banana) I decided to try a GT's Kombucha for the first time - I keep hearing/reading about this fermented mushroombacteriayeast drink.

Firstly - yummy. Tastes slightly vinegary, slightly champagney, slightly gingeraley, topped off with a seaside-kelpy smell. I like it but I am an odd one so don't blame me if you open a bottle and instantly say "ew".

Secondly - I feel slightly buzzy in the head and in my insides - not like drunk but just - buzzy. It's a good feeling actually - except that I'm at work and I feel sort of - hmmm - buzzy. No other way to put that, is there? My brain feels tingly - how about that?

Therefore - I most ecstatically proclaim my kombucha experience a success and if only it were a bit cheaper, I could see it becoming a daily thing. Maybe I'll just save it as a treat for those trying times when you heart feels shrivelled and a little buzz buzz will do it some good.

Well.

What started out as a snowstorm of little promise has turned into something so beautiful. Much more so than I anticipated last night on my way home; it was just slushy and wet, and so I predicted just a gray mess today, but this morning I was greeted by a definite Winter Wonderland. Downright Narniaesque. Where is the the White Witch Ice Queen, where are the fauns? Aslan? Hiding for sure, bundled up under furs and and tucked into hollows for warmth.

I really would have liked to see a faun though. Perhaps one will slip out of hiding at some point.

I made it in to work - late - but still I came in so now it's all cozy and the snow is still falling softly and I have my blinds pulled all the way back so I can see it all and there is that lovely kind of thing happening where it looks like the outside is a snowglobe and someone has shook it and you can see each the flake fall in every direction but sort of hung in suspension and then swirls one way and then some go sideways and some just go straight down to the ground and others seem to defy gravity and the laws of the world and seem to be falling up.

Is it possible to fall up?

I think it may just be.

And, according to Professor Serge Gavronsky, it's possible for an elevator to go sideways so why not fall up...

Isn't that so Veronica?

Learn to See Through Flames

Yes, the earworms have returned, this time in the form of a Massive Attack song; this has been on repeat on the iPod since last week, love love love it:

Pray For Rain
In deepest hollow of our minds
A system failure left behind
And their necks crane
As they turn to pray for rain
And their necks crane

Dull residue of what once was
A shattered cloud of swirling doves
And their eyes change
As they learn to see through flames
And their necks crane
As they turn to pray for rain...

Drops on rocks fall fast and fleeting
Hearts and wings commence to beating
Woods unseen with all believing
Vision walls fall all receding
Vision walls fall all receding
Drops on rocks come fast and fleeting
Rhythm laws unleash their meaning
Usher us into the dreaming
Vision walls fall all receding
Hearts and wings commence to beating
All unending all completing
Vision walls fall fast and fleeting
Vision walls fall all revealing
Vision walls fall all revealing
Vision walls fall all revealing
Vision walls fall all revealing...

LOVE-LY

Snowicane!

They make it sound so serious ...

"A Winter Storm Warning is in effect. A significant winter storm or hazardous winter weather is occurring, imminent, or likely, and is a threat to life and property. Stay vigilant for severe weather. "

Stay vigilant indeed. I have. I shall.

So far, it's all a mushy wet mix of rain and snow, nice big fat flakes falling as I was coming to work, but as I look out my window now, the flakes are now raindrops and I'm left to wonder when this last (I'm guessing, not hoping), luscious, lovely storm will arrive. It's coming, it's on it's way (so they keep telling me).

Sigh.

I know I've been MIA - I've been feeling like I haven't had much to share or say or just wasn't in the mood to so I didn't or just too busy/preoccupied with Stuff and very busy watching the Olympics - did you know I'm a big nerd about the Olympics, I love Olympic years! But please know I have not abandoned the Good Ship Bloggie yet; I shall persevere, continue on, hack my way through and somehow come out the other end having endured and emerged the better for it.

Do I sound dramatic? Hmmm. Perhaps. Maybe I'm just trying to keep up with the weather.com writers. I do enjoy a good storm though. I like the excitement of the ride...cloudy days full of rain, snow, hail, who knows what are always preferred to banal blue skies.

Stay vigilant. Storms are imminent.

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door

~ Emily Dickinson

Funny, when I was home at Christmas, I parted my hair in the middle and pulled it back down low, over my ears and into a bun and I asked my mother didn't I look like Emily Dickinson.

She said no, you look like Octomom - HA!!!!

Sad thing is, I did...minus those big wormy lips.

So that's my hopeful quote of the day, hopeful for a blissful weekend of course - it's supposed to be a big snowstorm here and I intend to enjoy the winter wonderland as it might be the last snow of the season - you never know. Just a walk in the park or around and about the Upper West Side should do it tomorrow, before I head to the ballet - Sleeping Beauty at Lincoln Center. Just me myself and I - yep, I'm taking myself out. Next week is Swan Lake - I got cheap cheap tix for both and I don't know anyone else who likes the ballet so I'm stuck with myself. That's fine, I'm good company.

Time to bundle now and head out - bring on the flakes!

Rumi Medicine

Come, come, whoever you are-
Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving-
What does it matter?
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
A hundred times-
Come, come again, come.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

In the Belly

That's the traditional translation of today's holiday (um, not Groundhog's Day but more the Celtic Brigid's Day (pre-Christian sainthood of course, I'm not going to include the "St." - they just made her a saint so that it would be appropriate for the conquered Celts to keep praying to her) - she gives birth to Spring and so it was a day to say HEY THERE hold on, have some hope, even though food supplies are scarce and it's still so dark and cold, and yes, better, warmer times will come around again on the wheel. So what's in the belly...

Six more weeks of winter says the groundhog and so you have to wait and be much more patient for things to blossom and bloom, don't you? Yes, I'm speaking metaphorically as well as literally.

Such as? Well, it was my third week in a row of yoga. I'm very proud of myself for sticking to it and let us bless it to continue. I've fought with myself beforehand "oh I'd rather stay home, oh but you'll feel so good afterwards and you'll be HAPPY, oh but I'm sleepy and I have all these things to do, oh but you'll never do them anyhow, you'll just lay and read and wander, won't you, so GO!"

And I went. And I felt so much better for it. Whatever it does to the body is great, I know I looked and felt physically better when I was going to a class on a regular basis, but the mental and emotional peace is what I missed all this time. It completely short circuits any depression, foul-mood, blues, mean reds, etc. Most excellent. She sighs with contentment ... if only the other things of life were that simple... my other thing that it's in the belly is how to learn to carry this forward to the rest of the time I'm not in a yoga class - I'm a rather anxious person but I'm working on it - I'm trying to just go with the flow of the river I'm in, not fight to swim upstream. Smile more. Be positive instead of expecting the worst. Wish on stars and fallen eyelashes and still believe that they'll come true. That sort of thing.

I'll leave you with my poem-medicine dose for the week:

I made a fire, the blue sky having abandoned me,
A fire to be his friend,
A fire to enter the winter night,
A fire to live better.
~Paul Eluard

"Doubt, fear, and disbelief kill all miracles"

(as read in a book over someone's shoulder this morning on the #6)

Today has been...

utter shit.

There's simply no other way to put it. I didn't sleep much, I kept having nightmares, to the point that at about 4am, I turned on the light and tried to sleep the rest of the night like a little baby, complete with nightlight and blankie. Just tossed and turned though because then the rains and the winds came and slammed against the metal of my A/C & whistled & groaned through my thin, poorly installed windows so then THAT noise kept me up, despite all earplugs and stuffing of head under pillows. Then I'm late leaving for work because of the lack of sleep and I'm grumpy and feeling BLAH and I get outside and that same wind and rain soaked me to the bone and made me feel like a wet dog all day.

WOOF WOOF. I have nothing to say, this is going to be all complaints if I keep it up. Plus I'm sore, my ribs and my arms hurt because TA DA! Yes, there is one bright spot! I've started up the yoga thing again and this is the second Sunday in a row I've gone and hurrah for me. I'm very proud of myself because I've missed it, I really have. I knew I did, every week for the past year I said "this week I'm going" and it was so easy for me to find an excuse not to go...but I finally stopped being a dork about it and just did it. But the problem is, I leave there all smiley and at peace then then it all unravels just 12 hours later.

Must work on that ... must find a way to keep the yoga calm in my pocket, even if just as a small secret only I know.

Well I did update Bloggie today, didn't I? I wanted something prettier, more elegant. I like it. I do believe it was the only thing I did all day that's worth noting though and THAT I find reprehensible. Surely there's more to a day then scooting through blogger layouts...

Other than that, I've got nothing, NOTHING to report. That's why I've written not a thing for 2010, I was gone, then I was sick and I just feel like now I'm settling into a groove, things are fitting where they ought to be, I'm getting a schedule, a routine, new habits trying to be formed - etc. I'm trying anyway.

I'm hoping tomorrow is better for me. Less wet, less windy, less of me cursing inwardly, less of me yawning and bemoaning having to sit upright. I'm hoping for all good things.

So go on, Universe ... surprise me.

I dare you.

Happy Merry 2010 to You

First things first:

Why so cold, New York City...why so cold?

BRRRRRR!

But I semi-like it...you know me.

Second things second; lets start off this year's posting with some quotes that have caught me:

Alice laughed: "There's no use trying," she said; "one can't believe impossible things." "I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
~ Alice in Wonderland

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS,
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS,
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS,
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me—
Anything can happen, child
ANYTHING can be.
~ Shel Silverstein

"I go to seek a vast perhaps."
~ Francois Rabelais

Third things last: this is all I have time or energy to do but I didn't want to be neglectful of Dearest Bloggie. I got back in town in the wee hours of Monday, barely slept and it's been all about work and getting proper sleep since then. So it does not amaze me that I woke up this morning feeling dreadful and cold-like since my whole family was ill all vacation, wasn't I bound and determined to catch something of some kind.

Damn IT ALL. Oh well - at least it's Friday, I can sleep and rest and hibernate all I want this weekend which promises to be even colder than it's been this week so maybe it's time for ginger tea, blankies, bundling, and moving as little as possible, all in the hopes of garnering enough strength to face the New Year and all of its "vast perhaps" next week in the proper fashion.